Hell is an Airport Terminal and Other Observations from Abaco, Bahamas

Recently, I spent an amazing week in Abacos, Bahamas with my immediate family as well as my Aunt, Uncle, two cousins and their husbands, and my two year old second cousin. Situated on a remote part of the largest island, Marsh Harbour, we spent most of our days lounging on the beach and drinking beer.  These are some of the discoveries I made during this vacation.

• ·         The Bahamas just might have the prettiest sunsets in the world.

Case in point

• ·         Dogs are without a doubt man’s best friend and if you give them enough lunch meat they will protect you from other wilder dogs on the beach.

Our frequent, smiling, visitor, Buddy

• ·         My two year old cousin, Kelly, has more natural talent in freeing her voice, accepting and employing the emotional hinge, and Alexander Technique than I have seen in my two and a half years at college.

The little crab in all her glory

• ·      Conchs are everywhere in Abaco. They’re a type of sea slug that grows their own shell and are particularly tasty when fried in fritters. And it’s pronounced kɑŋk not kɑntʃ in case you were wondering.

• ·         Starfish can be huge! Also, the way to properly save a large one is to hold it down on the sea floor until it fills with water and equalizes pressure. You can tell when this happens when a steady stream of bubbles comes out of its blowhole thingie.

I wasn't lying you guys...that things real

• ·         If Sand dollars are any color other than white than they’re still alive.

• ·         Coconuts are delicious when cracked open after they’ve fallen off of a palm tree and naturally unsweetened.

Johnny the coconut cracking master.

• Mothers and fathers are living saints

And slightly clumsy ones at that

And finally,

• ·         Hell is an airport terminal.
   This one deserves some explaining. On our route home our first flight from Abacos to Nassau was three hours late which caused us to miss our subsequent flights home.  Stranded in Nassau we waited for about three hours for the airline to reroute us home. The problem was that all flights out of the Bahamas were booked and the next flight for the states was set to leave on Tuesday. As my cousin has two six month old twins at home and I have a flight to London on Wednesday that I had not started packing for, suffice to say we were nervous.  

                Somehow we managed to hop on a flight to Miami and once there we were told to talk to a representative about flights from Miami. What we didn’t know was that the Orange Bowl was in Miami and we were travelling on one of the busiest days of the month. Every hotel was completely booked and it seemed that we were going to be sleeping in the airport for our 6:00 flight which was booked by our airline.  Around 9:00 Kitty told us that she had gotten a great deal at the Sheraton for us to spend the night. Our party of 12 piled into a van and was taken to the Sheraton where we looked forward to resting our heads and maybe crying into a pillow. (That last part was just me I’m pretty sure.)

                BUT WAIT. As we waited for Kitty to pay for our rooms we were told that, in fact, the Sheraton had no available rooms and was not offering any rooms at a cheap cost but rather $200 per night. Kitty, once more to the rescue began bartering with the hotel manager as my family set up what only could be described as Fort Jones in the hotel lobby.  After what seemed like hours, which was really probably two maybe, (the days and nights started losing any quality of time after a while) Kitty got one room for my cousin, her husband and the little one.  They headed up with my Aunt and other cousin as my sisters and I hit the restraint for a midnight snack. We were going to stay in that lobby until the Sheraton kicked us out.

                Upon returning I found my cousin back downstairs looking nervous and our parents on the phone and pacing. Erin had called the airline service to confirm the 6 AM flight and they told us they had no record of us on file. It seemed like we were now stuck in Miami. Hullabaloo and frantic calls ensue. Kitty assures us we are on the flight and this happens all the time. I’m slightly concerned by the “all the time part”. The Sheraton kicks us out and our diminished numbers head back to the airport for a sleepless night.  Upon arrival we wait some more and then are told that we now have a room at a Las Quintas., praying to God that our flight works out we head to the hotel and try to fall asleep at roughly 2:00.

                Two hours later we are up bright and early and back at the airport to arrive for our 6:00 flight. Kitty was wrong. We don’t have tickets. My world becomes very still then shatters. Erin, sitting among our 14 or so pieces of luggage holds Kelly, calms her down, and focuses on the question of how she and Johnny will get home to the twins.

                 Functioning on very little sleep and  my typical nature, I walk through the terminal doors, sit down, put my head in my hands and sob.

                Flash forward two hours. Time: Hell if I know. God sends my family an angel in the disguise of an United Air desk attendant who somehow gets Erin, Johnny, and Kelly on a flight route back to Cleveland and reroutes the rest of our family, through the Ft. Lauderdale airport home. 

                I can’t help but feel like sobbing again as I watch the three make their way through security. This time, though, for joy.

                Now nine, we board a shuttle to take us to Ft. Lauderdale where we will board different flights home. My immediate family has to wait 12+ hours to board a plane to take us to Atlanta and finally, Pittsburgh. It’s not ideal, but it will do.

 

                42 hours, 6 airports, 2 hotels, 2 countries, and a few mental breakdowns later we return home.  I hear the choir of angels singing. In a testament of the strength of my family, we have survived. Home at last. Home at last. Thank God almighty, I am home at last.